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Journalists Marvel At Maggie Haberman’s Ability To Get Man Who Never Shuts Up To Answer Questions

NEW YORK—Lauding the incredible acumen required to obtain access to the subject of her new biography, Confidence Man: The Making Of Donald Trump And The Breaking Of America, journalists nationwide marveled Wednesday at Maggie Haberman’s ability to get a man who never shuts up to respond to her questions. “Wow, I can’t believe she got that guy to give her three interviews for her book—that’s incredible!” New York Times columnist Aaron Wells said in reference to a man who loves seeing his name in print, never stops chasing after the spotlight, and appears not to have censored a single one of his thoughts in the past 76 years. “How did she get [a person who prattles on endlessly in social media posts and, during large public rallies, will muse aloud for a couple hours at a time in front of strangers] to talk to her that much? I wish I knew her secret.” At press time, journalists were reportedly amazed once more upon learning that a man known for speaking in an unfiltered stream-of-consciousness and for casually revealing highly classified intelligence to hostile nations had called Haberman and asked her to write another 608 pages about him.



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