Study Finds 100% Of Relationships Last Forever

STANFORD, CA—Shedding new light on the unbreakable power of love, a new study published Monday by researchers at Stanford University found that 100% of relationships last forever. “We conducted a double-blind study of more than 10,000 relationships over a period of eight decades and discovered that all 10,000 of the romantic bonds are lasting and will last until the end of time,” said research director Corrine Harrison, who was astonished by her finding that whether a relationship was between high school sweethearts who had so far been going out for three weeks or a married couple approaching their eighth anniversary, every single one of them was perfect and would remain perfect until the day the lovers died. “Study participants reported that even after all these years, their emotional connection had never been deeper, their trust in each other had never been more solid, and the sex had never been more passionate. The results held consistent for traditional monogamous pairings as well as throuples and polycules. This study confirms that love truly is the strongest force on Earth.” At press time, all 100% of relationships were still going strong.