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Panicking TikTok Influencers Frantically Gathering As Much Validation As Possible In Case App Banned

LOS ANGELES—As rumors of sales and shutdowns of the popular app continued to spread, panicking TikTok influencers reportedly began frantically gathering as much validation as possible Thursday in case the platform was banned. “Please, Tiktok is my main source of esteem, and if it goes away, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” said 22-year-old “skinfluencer” Tatiana Evans into a front-facing camera, attempting to internalize every heart reaction and comment about her flawless skin and perfect body ahead of the popular video app’s prospective closure, hoping to squirrel some adoration away for future use in the unfortunate circumstance that there was a lull between social media apps to provide the wealth of outside assurance she has come to rely on. “Not to scaremonger, but I really need everyone to reach deep inside and provide me with as much validation as possible to stash away in case the app is banned in America and the well runs dry. So if you are willing and able to tell me I’m hot, now is the time—I literally need your attention to survive and I’m super worried that I will run out of your gushing affirmations if I don’t mentally start saving them now. I know I should have been putting aside some of your comments calling me an 11 out of 10 for a rainy day instead of immediately feeding off them, but even putting together a small nest egg of compliments and heart-eyes emojis today would be a huge help.” At press time, Evans had burned through a decade’s worth of validation in just two minutes after noticing a potential pimple forming under her skin.



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