TALLAHASSEE, FL—Letting out a bone-chilling scream at the sight of the Disney princess, Gov. Ron DeSantis reportedly ran crying out of a child’s birthday party Wednesday after a surprise visit from Elsa. “No! I want to go now!” the sobbing prospective 2024 presidential candidate said at a backyard birthday gathering for a neighbor’s 6-year-old daughter, tears streaking his unicorn face paint as he wiped a mix of snot and cake frosting from his face onto the pants of his wife, who pleaded with him to let go of her leg and act like a big boy. “You promised she wouldn’t be here, and you lied! I don’t care if there’s still presents to open. I hate her, and I hate all of you. I’m running away, and you’re never going to see me again—never!” At press time, the Florida governor could not be reached for comment as he was hiding in the corner of the bounce house pouting.