LUCASVILLE, OH—Prison officials were reportedly thrown into a panic on Thursday when a malfunctioning lethal injection cocktail killed a death row inmate on the first try. “Unfortunately, due to an unforeseen error in the injection process, the inmate died immediately and without severe pain,” said Southern Ohio Correctional Facility spokesperson Derek Vargas, explaining that the drug cocktail comprising midazolam, pancuronium bromide, and potassium chloride should not have worked until the third or fourth injection, at least. “We’re launching a full investigation into whether the dosage was too high and left the inmate perishing immediately instead of convulsing, crying for help, and still somewhat conscious of his surroundings. We apologize to the deceased and his family for a process that should have taken minutes, if not hours, ending in an instant. A quick death will not happen again.” Prison officials also apologized to the visibly shaken executioner who according to reports didn’t even get to use his rubber mallet.