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Congress Placed On Lockdown After Deranged Man Enters Senate With Gun Control Measures

WASHINGTON—Sending members of Congress ducking under their seats and covering their ears, the U.S. Capitol building was reportedly placed on lockdown Tuesday after a deranged man entered the Senate chamber with gun control measures. “It was terrifying—apparently he had written up hundreds and hundreds of pages detailing his plan to enact strict measures to regulate as many guns as possible,” said Sen. Roy Blunt (R-MO), who confirmed that the suspect, a middle-aged man brandishing a large manila folder, was tackled by Capitol police officers after walking onto the Senate floor and announcing he was armed with a proposal. “It was horrifying. You could tell he had planned the entire thing out. For a minute there, I really thought it was the end for these shootings. I’m just thankful he was caught before the gun lobby got hurt, or even killed.” At press time, authorities had asked the media to refrain from sharing the deranged man’s writings to avoid inspiring any copycats.

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