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Cop Annoyed At Assumption That All Police Officers Are As Bad As Him

DALLAS—Stressing that those sorts of boilerplate ways of looking at human beings didn’t help anybody, local police officer Tyler Franklin told reporters Tuesday that he was annoyed by the assumption that all police officers were as bad as him. “Look, obviously there are going to be some bad apples like myself who enjoy spreading terror among the same civilians they’re sworn to serve, but I’m not representative of every cop in America,” said Franklin, bristling at the suggestion that insane bullies like himself who got off on beating minorities within an inch of their lives were anything more than a small fraction of the upstanding officers serving across America. “There are literally hundreds of thousands of cops in this country. How could you possibly think all of them would be crazy enough to chokehold a minor like I do? Or pull over a minority for speeding just to smash their windshield and scare the shit out of them? Let’s get real here. It’s outrageous to suggest there are more than a few people on the force as purely evil as me.” Franklin also cautioned against taking “a few dozen anecdotes” about him drunkenly beating his wife and extrapolating that into a larger problem of marital abuse among police officers.”

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