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Couple Struggling To Get Pregnant Taking It As Sign That They Should Keep Trying Until Relationship Implodes

PORTSMOUTH, NH—Saying they had to be realistic about what their current situation entailed, married couple Brett and Hannah Steinwald told reporters Tuesday that they were taking their struggle to get pregnant as a sign that they should keep trying until their relationship eventually implodes. “Look, if we aren’t pregnant after over a year, we eventually need to read the writing on the wall and keep obsessing about having a child until we’re so filled with spite and resentment that our marriage collapses,” said Hannah Steinwald, stressing that she and her husband should be honest about the fact that even if becoming parents wasn’t in the cards, they could still grow increasingly embittered over years of visits with fertility experts and emotionally-vacant sex while the few ties holding them together frayed and eventually snapped. “Say we never have kids: Does that mean we can’t secretly blame each other for destroying our dream of parenthood? Or that once things fizzle out in three or four years, we aren’t going to have a painful divorce? Absolutely not.” Steinwald added that she was really trying to use this moment to look at her spouse less as the person she loved, and more as a set of misfiring genitals that had completely and utterly failed her.

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