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‘It’s Scary How Much Tech Companies Know About Me,’ Says Man Whose Algorithm Feeds Him Solely Basketball Highlights, Half-Naked Women

APPLETON, WI—Expressing concerns about privacy and corporate overreach, Andrew Friedman, a man whose algorithm constantly feeds him solely basketball highlights and photos of half-naked women, reportedly stated, “It’s scary how much tech companies know about me,” in conversation Monday.“It’s honestly so crazy, sometimes I feel like social media networks know what I want to see before I even do,” said Friedman, who proceeded to open up TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter, like and engage with several photos and videos featuring busty, bikini-clad models as well as NBA players making impossible-seeming trick shots, only to gasp in amazement when he was served more of the exact same content. “Seriously, how do they do that? Look at this: hot girl. NBA buzzer beaters. Hot girls on a boat. Dunks. Somehow, it knows I like slam dunks? Damn, this shit is crazy. Get out of my head, computer!” At press time, Friedman told reporters that he was also terrified when the algorithm began suggesting he follow several pornographic actresses after he messaged an adult film star the word “hi” 10 times in a row only to receive no response.

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