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Jared Leto Announces New Skincare Line For Him To Rub On Everyone Himself

LOS ANGELES—Expanding the products offered by his lifestyle brand Twentynine Palms, actor Jared Leto announced Thursday the release of a new skincare line for him to rub on all over everyone himself. “Our latest line of skincare features all-natural, botanical ingredients that fully activate when I massage them into your bare skin every morning and every night,” the unblinking Suicide Squad actor said as he demonstrated on a volunteer how thorough each application would be, stressing the importance of using the product not just on the face and neck, but the hands, chest, and “sensitive areas” as well. “All you have to do is purchase one of our vegan and cruelty-free products, and I’ll bring it over and smear it on every square inch of your body. Inspired by the landscapes of the Mojave Desert, the biologically derived fragrances will dazzle the senses—I’ll show you what I mean when we open up the bottle together. I know the celebrity skincare space is already crowded, but we’re the only company to offer both a hydrating evening primrose oil completely free of cyclic silicones and a patented organic applicator in the form of the CEO’s two human hands. The eye cream even has some of my skin and hair in it.” Leto went on to add that the skincare line was mainly targeted to teens aged 14 to 17.

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