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‘Or You Could Just Get Takeout,’ Reports Little Voice That Already Knows It’s Won

SAN FRANCISCO—Emphasizing that it was only offering an opinion and any choice made would be acceptable, a little voice reportedly whispered, “…or you could just get takeout,” Tuesday despite already knowing it had won. “Just offering my two cents here, but it’s been a tough day at work, and there’s always pad Thai from the place around the corner,” said the soft-spoken interior monologue, admitting that it was ultimately your decision, even as it knew full-well that the battle was over before it began. “The place is just a block away, and it’s only three button presses before it’s basically in your hands. But, hey, you could always make lentil soup or something. What would that take? Just 90 minutes or so, right? Huh, and then you’d just fall asleep immediately and go right back to your office when you wake up tomorrow. Totally up to you, if that’s what you want.” At press time, sources confirmed the small voice had grown slightly larger as it suggested maybe on the way back from getting takeout you could stop at 7-Eleven and grab one of those caramel drumsticks.

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