Monday, July 15, 2024
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Podcaster Watches Bank Account Balance Double For Every Slur He Says Into Mic

NEW YORK—His eyes widening in stunned disbelief at the monumental sum, local podcaster Kyle Campbell was reportedly watching in stunned disbelief Monday as his bank account balance doubled with every slur he said into the microphone. Upon recognizing the phenomenon, sources reported that Campbell began uttering racial epithets in rapid succession, barely stopping to take a breath as the number on his phone screen grew higher and higher and a series of ka-ching sound effects materialized out of the ether, and beads of sweat rolled down his head from exertion. The number reportedly took an enormous leap after a seven-figure deposit from Patreon reportedly hit Campbell’s bank account, despite the fact that the previously unknown podcaster had never created an account with the service in the first palace. At press time, Campbell’s bank account balance had plummeted to zero after he stuttered while saying the word “Honky.”

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