PARSONS, KS—Inbounding the ball to himself after intentionally fouling himself for the third straight possession, local child Owen Cooper reportedly yelled, “The crowd heads for the exit” Wednesday while dribbling out the clock during an imaginary 19-point NBA Finals blowout. “NBA finals, everything on the line—he stalls, he stalls, the fans are checking their cell phones!” shouted Cooper to himself as he dribbled in place in his driveway before sitting down to imagine a 90-second TV timeout. “The starters have left the floor! He’s intentionally fouled again with 1:21 remaining! He makes both free throws to push the lead to 21. The Lakers are on their way to a 3-1 series!” At press time, Cooper had been called inside by his mother with 22 seconds remaining in the imaginary game because it was getting too dark out.