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GTA VI Trailer Makes 1989 Tom Petty Song A New Hit

Tom Petty’s song “Love Is A Long Road,” which was released in 1989, has become a posthumous hit for the rockstar after it was...

Mark Zuckerberg Worried His Metaverse Avatar Doesn’t Fully Capture How Inhuman He Looks

MENLO PARK, CA—Admitting that his virtual likeness had a long way to go before it felt like a genuine representation, Mark Zuckerberg told reporters...

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Suspicious Resident Doesn’t Recall Ever Seeing Black Man On This Planet Before

ROCHESTER HILLS, MI—Peering out her kitchen window with concern after noticing the pedestrian across the street, suspicious resident Barbara Hill reportedly...

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Kidnapper Surprised Pulling Out Hostage’s Fingernails Didn’t End Stockholm Syndrome

AUGUSTA, ME—Describing his astonishment after violently torturing his victim for hours on end Wednesday, a local kidnapper said he was shocked that pulling out...

Real Estate Experts Confirm Having George Clooney Living In Attic Greatly Increases Property Value

LOS ANGELES—Saying there was no better investment than sheltering the A-list celebrity in a tight crawl space, a panel of top real estate experts...

Taco Bell Testing New Menu Items With Oversized Cheez-It

Taco Bell is testing new menu items, the Big Cheez-It Tostada and Big Cheez-It Crunch Wrap Supreme, which both feature an oversized Cheez-It cracker...

Cautious Rock Climber Cuts Off Arm To Prevent It From Getting Pinned Underneath Fallen Boulder

MONTICELLO, UT—Repeating the old adage that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, cautious rock climber Mitchell Bradford reportedly cut off...

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Downtown studio apartment. One-day lease with option to renew pending progress of demolition crew.
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LOS GATOS, CA—In a statement confirming the 46th president of the United States would not be providing it with so much as a voice-over,...
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