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F-35 Stealth Jet Reported Missing After Pilot Ejects During ‘Mishap’

U.S. military officials found the crash site of an F-35 jet that went missing after a “mishap” caused its pilot to eject from the...

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Company Clarifies Feminine Hygiene Products In Bathroom Purely Decorative

JERSEY CITY, NJ—Urging employees to refrain from touching any of the items that had been neatly arranged in the wicker basket, local company Green...

Sweating Menopausal Mother Straight Up Takes Off Shirt During Dinner

VALDOSTA, GA—In a move that caused several family members to stare with their jaws agape, household sources confirmed Thursday that sweaty, menopausal mother Lisa...

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Mark Zuckerberg Holds All-Company Meeting To Announce His Metaverse Avatar Is Crying

MENLO PARK, CA—Following a stock plunge that saw $80 billion wiped from the Facebook parent’s market cap, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg held an all-company...

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Aaron Sorkin Defends Taking Liberties With Scene In Which All Members Of Chicago 7 Endorse Joe Biden

LOS ANGELES—Addressing criticism about the film during a press junket in support of its streaming release, director Aaron Sorkin told reporters Monday that he...

Idaho Becomes Latest State To Permit Execution By Firing Squad

Republican Idaho Gov. Brad Little has signed a bill allowing execution by firing squad, making Idaho the latest state to turn to older methods...

Ethics Report Shows Elaine Chao Ran Personal Errands With Transportation Department’s Private Zorb

WASHINGTON—Alleging rampant misuse of the inflatable transparent plastic sphere, an inspector general’s report released Monday showed that former Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao violated ethics...

Scientists Grow Plant Seeds In Lunar Soil For First Time

Scientists have grown plants for the first time in lunar soil brought back to Earth by Apollo astronauts over 50 years ago, calling it...

Winklevoss Twins Spend Joyous Afternoon Jerking Each Other Off

NEW YORK—Following reports of the first-ever mass layoffs at Facebook parent company Meta, sources confirmed identical twins Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss spent a joyous...
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NEW YORK—A day after a game was stopped and then indefinitely postponed following the on-field cardiac arrest of Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin, the...
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