Food Banks Begin Accepting Donations From Homosexuals

WASHINGTON—Relaxing restrictions in response to critics who called their longstanding policies discriminatory, the FDA announced Tuesday that food banks would begin accepting donations from homosexuals. “It has been the practice to reject any food donations from sexually active gay men due to perceived health risks, but advances in medical research have taught us that the canned goods of homosexuals are no different than those of straight people,” said FDA commissioner Robert Califf of the change to federal policy, which had been in effect since the height of the AIDS crisis in 1983, and which has led food banks to throw out thousands of pounds of food donated by gay men over the years. “At the time of the ban, regulators overseeing food banks were doing the best they could with the information they had, and there was a lot of confusion over whether AIDS could be transmitted through jars of peanut butter or boxes of pasta shells. With more information, we understand that a total ban on gay men donating food is a relic of a less inclusive time.” Under the new rules, the FDA said that homosexual men will be able to donate food provided they meet all the criteria, which includes not having been sexually active for the past three months.