Nation’s Mothers Announce They Don’t Even Know Why They Try

WASHINGTON—Throwing up their arms in resignation, the nation’s mothers announced Thursday that they don’t even know why they try. “We’re just saying, maybe the nation should try taking care of itself for once, then they might see it’s not so easy,” said 54-year-old spokesmother Misty Hepworth, who sighed and shook her head as she issued the statement on behalf of mothers across the country who worked so hard every day, and for what? “We’re done. We’re through. We just don’t have the energy anymore, okay? At the end of the day, there’s only so much we can do. The nation’s going to have to figure this one out on their own this time.” At press time, the nation had interrupted their mothers to ask for a glass of water.