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Old-School Baseball Fan Doesn’t Need Some Formula To Tell Him Which Players Have Best WAR, wOBA

YAKIMA, WA—Recalling the better days when there was real art to arguing over who had the greatest skills, local baseball fan Dennis Morehouse complained Tuesday that he does not need some stupid formula to tell him which players have the best WAR or wOBA. “Back in the ’60s and ’70s, you didn’t need some website and a bunch of math to tell you who was leading the league in defensive runs saved, you just knew it in your gut,” said Morehouse, who fondly reminisced about the evenings he would spend at the bar arguing with his buddies over whether Mike Schmidt or Rickey Henderson had a higher WAR. “It’s just no fun when there is some nerd with a chart telling me a player’s isolated slugging; I should be deciding that for myself. And honestly, what does a computer know about how many RBIs someone has? That’s just something you figure out on the field by seeing who runs harder. Pretty soon, they’re gonna come up with some dumb stat to tell us who scored more runs in each game.” At press time, Morehouse was signing a petition for the MLB to return to the process of determining the World Series winner by arguing over local sports radio stations.

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