Study Finds Fewer Than 2% Of College Athletes Go On To Open Steakhouse Named After Themselves

WASHINGTON—Exposing the harsh reality of many young competitors’ dreams, Gallup released a new study Friday that found fewer than 2% of all college athletes go on to open a steakhouse named after themselves. “Despite the fact that many student athletes enter the NCAA with the explicit goal of one day opening a restaurant where guests can enjoy dining on prime rib while surrounded by signed memorabilia, we found that the odds of actually owning an eponymous chophouse are very, very low,” said study coauthor Laura Parrish, who explained that for every Michael Jordan or Vince Young, there were hundreds of college players who did not have a single steakhouse to their name. “Even those who do get lucky enough to own a steakhouse bearing their name on a neon sign might not operate that restaurant for more than a few years before it closes. Then what? Odds are, if you open a steakhouse, it’s going to be named after someone else.” At press time, Parrish added that the study was hopefully a wake-up call for student-athletes focused solely on fine-dining entrepreneurship.