ARLINGTON,TX—Praising the cartilaginous fish for embodying the spirit of Tampa, the Rays awarded the ceremonial first pitch of World Series Game 3 to the stingray who killed Steve Irwin. “This stingray is a pillar of the community, he’s stuck with us through some tough times, so it’s only right to honor the fish who put rays on the map,” said GM Erik Neander, who credited the stingray’s role as a pitchman for free agent signings like Charlie Morton and Hunter Renfroe. “This stingray showed bravery and spirit in the face of an aggressive attack. The members of the Tampa Bay Rays organization were always inspired by his story. Despite the controversy around him, we maintain that he was protecting his habitat from a so-called wildlife expert.” At press time, the Dodgers announced plans to hold a 15-minute tribute to local legend the “Night Stalker” Richard Ramirez ahead of Game 5.