BUFFALO GROVE, IL—Puzzled by what they were seeing on screen, local Olympics viewer Riley Baker reportedly asked, “That’s so they can’t have sex?” Monday while staring in confusion at the volleyball net. “Uh, that doesn’t seem like it’s going to stop STDs or pregnancy, does it?” said Baker, who scoffed at the idea that something as simple as a flimsy nylon net would prevent any Olympic athletes from engaging in sex at the Summer Games. “What were the organizers thinking? You can definitely get your genitals through that. Maybe it’s symbolic, but that’s stupid. If I wanted to have sex, I just would walk around or go under.” At press time, Baker was watching the match in awe over the fact that the net was actually working.