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Upset Red Sox Fan Demands To Speak To Manager

BOSTON—Fuming as he referred to the on-field product as “totally unacceptable,” upset Red Sox fan James McCormack pulled aside a Fenway Park employee Friday and demanded to speak to the team’s manager. “Is this the way they treat paying customers? I’m gonna need someone to come up here and explain the level of play I witnessed today,” said McCormack, 38, clarifying that he expected a certain level of performance and professionalism on the field after spending over $100 to watch the Red Sox play the Mariners. “Somebody get Alex Cora up here right now. He better be able to explain why this dogshit bullpen can’t keep a lead to save its goddamn life. I have been a regular visitor to this stadium for over 10 years, but if I don’t get to speak to management right now, or at least get a refund, I’m telling everyone I know to never attend a Red Sox game again.” At press time, Cora was attempting to defuse the situation with an irate McCormack by calling down Red Sox owner John Henry to offer the fan store credit at the Fenway Park shop.

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