BET Executives Panicking After Realizing They Have Nothing Lined Up For Black History Month

NEW YORK—Horrified by their glaring oversight, top executives at BET reportedly began to panic Monday after realizing they had no programming lined up for the observance of Black History Month. “No, no, no, you’ve got to be kidding me—that’s this month?” visibly frazzled network president Scott Mills said as he pored over the channel’s listings for the next four weeks and grew increasingly distressed. “I could have sworn it was in March. Shit, we can’t just keep playing Martin all day. Is there an episode of The Cleveland Show where they talk about Rosa Parks or something? Fuck. Okay, just get Miss Juneteenth queued up. That’ll at least give us 90 minutes to hash out a plan. This is so frustrating, especially after we did such a great job with all our special programming for Holocaust Remembrance Day.” At press time, sources confirmed the executives had decided it was too late to put anything together, so they would just have to hold their breath and hope no one noticed.