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Biden Announces Plans For Extra PlayStation 5 Controller In Case Someone Visits Nation

WASHINGTON—Hailing the initiative as a bold new era for the country’s multiplayer capabilities, President Joe Biden announced plans Wednesday to purchase an extra PlayStation 5 controller in case someone visits the nation. “We cannot stand by and fail to greatly expand America’s ability to engage in couch co-op and competitive play if someone stops by,” the commander-in-chief said in an address from the Oval Office, declaring that there was no reason why the most prosperous nation in human history could not afford the $69.99 to have an additional DualSense controller at hand to play Rocket League, Madden 24, or It Takes Two with a potential visitor. “I’ve already sent the secretary of commerce to Target so that the American people can be provided with this auxiliary wireless controller for guests. With that said, any visiting little brothers will have to just watch.” Biden went on to announce a new plan to use federal funds to purchase a Domino’s pizza and liter of Mountain Dew in case the guest was hungry.

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