Friday, June 21, 2024
HomeLocalGod Throws Celibate Monk Pity Wet Dream

God Throws Celibate Monk Pity Wet Dream

THE HEAVENS—Admitting that His heavenly dictates had made the Franciscan friar suffer enough, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, reportedly threw celibate monk Roberto Nevastri a pity wet dream this week. “He’s been so good resisting temptation and respecting chastity over the past few decades that the least I could do is give the poor guy a little release,” said God, adding that seeing the stern expression on Nevastri’s face as he slumbered in his dormitory had convinced the deity that sending the monk a few erotic dreams that culminated in a nocturnal emission wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. “As far as wet dreams go, I can make it pretty tame. It’s been about five years since his last one. So all I have to do is let him fantasize about having missionary-style sex with an anonymous woman for a few brief, joyous seconds. Man, it’s going to absolutely blow his mind.” At press time, God added that He would, of course, also make the monk’s mind fill with a pervading sense of guilt after he awoke to discover his involuntary ejaculation staining the bed sheets.

RELATED ARTICLES
- Advertisment -

Most Popular