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Governor Upset Barber Would Be So Reckless As To Get Near Ben Roethlisberger

PITTSBURGH—Referring to the decision to open his doors to the Steeler quarterback as “brash and wrongheaded,” Pennsylvania governor Tom Wolf told reporters Friday that he was upset at a local barber for being so reckless as to get near Ben Roethlisberger. “I’m angry that some people in Pennsylvania still don’t understand the perilous risks involved in meeting Roethlisberger in private,” said Wolf, who recommended against being within 6 feet of the quarterback without wearing protective equipment. “We still haven’t approved Pittsburgh residents to be this close to Ben, and it’s simply unacceptable to skirt state guidelines like this. There are major consequences associated with being exposed to this man. I hope I’m making myself very clear when I say Roethlisberger is a threat to everyone no matter your age group or health.” At press time, Wolf took to social media to recount the story of a woman who ended up in the hospital just minutes after being in Roethlisberger’s presence. 

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