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‘It’s So Nice To Finally Meet One Of Pete’s Work Friends,’ Says Chasten Buttigieg To Traffic Cone

WASHINGTON—Rushing to the door of his home to excitedly introduce himself, Chasten Buttigieg was overheard Thursday saying, “It’s so nice to finally meet one of Pete’s work friends,” to a traffic cone. “Hi, oh my gosh, I have heard so much about you, I feel like I know you already,” said Chasten, adding that the traffic cone was “practically a celebrity” in their household given how often his husband, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, told stories about the two of them. Chasten reportedly went so far as to jokingly refer to the 36-inch orange polyethylene pylon as Pete’s “work husband.” “Oh, listen to me going on and on! You’ll have to forgive me. Between the pandemic and our new babies, there haven’t been many opportunities to socialize with our family, let alone get to know new friends, so I’m very happy you could make it. Please, come in! Pete’s running late. I think he had a last-minute meeting with an important bag of gravel, but he should be home in time to eat. I hope you like shrimp scampi—it’s my specialty! Now, remind me, do you work in the same office downtown or are you a contractor?” At press time, Chasten Buttigieg was said to be providing the traffic cone with a tour of the house before they settled in for cocktails and appetizers.

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