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Javy Báez Wishes He’d Found More Tactful Way To Express Desire For All Mets Fans To Eat Shit And Die

NEW YORK—Admitting that it was not the most clear way of communicating, Mets second baseman Javier Báez told reporters Tuesday he wishes he had found a more tactful way to tell Mets fans that they should eat shit and die. “Those thumbs down were childish and unproductive, and I should have simply spoken up to let fans know they’re all useless pieces of shit that turned on us as soon as we started losing, and they can all rot in hell,” said Báez, who promised next time he got frustrated, he would be more straightforward and throw up the double bird or spit on a fan. “I should’ve communicated that each and every fan is a completely useless fucking slob and it is beneath me to debase myself for them. I got caught up in the heat of the moment, but I want to make it clear now that Mets fans are the dregs of the MLB, they deserve nothing, and I hope every single one of them dies a horrible, painful death.” At press time, Báez had tweeted a message of unity that both players and fans should be united in directing their ire towards the cowardly, short-sighted Mets management.

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