LOS ANGELES—Moments after watching the advertisement for Wonderful Pistachios in exchange for free wireless access, local man Thomas Steeples reportedly opted Tuesday to click the button that would allow him to learn more about the salted snack nut. “Why, yes, I think I’d like to discover more about this company and their enticing nut products,” said Steeples, eagerly navigating his mouse to the “learn more” button while telling himself he would be foolish to simply go about his business online given the educational opportunity that lay before him. “From California, you say? And you can get them already shelled? Well, I hope there are more video advertisements showcasing the array of flavored nuts this company has produced. I’ll admit that at first my motive for viewing their commercial was purely selfish, but now my interest has been piqued.” At press time, sources confirmed Steeples had missed his flight after reading up on pistachios for almost five hours.