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Mariners Promise Fans They’ll Be Back To Finish 2022 Playoff Race In Even More Heartbreaking Fashion

SEATTLE—Comforting the city after having their hopes dashed in the final week of the season, the Seattle Mariners promised their fans Wednesday that they would be working hard to finish next year’s playoff race in even more heartbreaking fashion. “We know this was tough, but this was just the beginning; you haven’t seen the last of this team getting your hopes up before dashing them in the most painful possible way,” said shortstop J.P. Crawford, who claimed Seattle has all the pieces in place to be a perennial soul-crusher in the AL West. “You have not seen the last of this team. I’m sure people thought it was tough finishing just two games back like we did, but I assure you we could possibly do that next year by blowing a 5-run lead in the 7th inning of the final game, or even a walk-off home run in the play-in. That’s our promise to Mariners fans.” At press time, Mariners ownership announced plans to slash $20 million in payroll for 2022.

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