New Twitter CEO Asked To Watch ‘The Matrix’ As Part Of Onboarding Process

SAN FRANCISCO—Emphasizing that she should get ready to have her mind absolutely blown, Elon Musk reportedly sat the new Twitter CEO Linda Yaccarino down on Friday and had her watch The Matrix as part of her onboarding process. “Buckle up, because this movie will tell you everything you need to know about working at Twitter, and also the world and our society at large,” said Musk, who opened up a laptop, pressed play on the 136-minute-long film, and began excitedly watching, commenting on, and reciting the lines of his favorite scenes over her shoulder. “Okay, so this is how it works when you’re CEO: you’re like Neo and I’m your Morpheus. The machines are trying to control our minds, but luckily, we know the truth. In order to be in charge of Twitter, you must take the blue pill or the red pill. What will you choose?” At press time, Elon Musk had switched the onboarding movie to Andrew Tate’s Hustlers University after discovering that the Wachowskis identified as female.