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HomeSportsPerfectly Preserved Fourth Watt Brother Discovered Frozen In Wisconsin Beer Cooler

Perfectly Preserved Fourth Watt Brother Discovered Frozen In Wisconsin Beer Cooler

WAUKESHA, WI—Hailing the massive specimen as the greatest NFL discovery of the century, league scientists announced Tuesday that they have discovered a perfectly preserved fourth Watt brother frozen in a Wisconsin beer cooler. “This is a historic find for football that could finally be the crucial missing link between J.J. and T.J.,” said lead scientist Robin Grossman, who told reporters that the specimen, who has been given the scientific name “A.J.,” was uncovered after a local man bought eight cases of Leinenkugel’s for an upcoming tailgate. “Standing six-foot-five with an estimated 40-yard time of 4.65 seconds, A.J. could be crucial to understanding the evolution of the defensive-end position. With any luck, we can have him unfrozen and running lateral shirt drills in no time.” Grossman added that A.J. may actually provide more insight into the mind of football players as almost every other specimen they have studied was irreparably damaged by CTE.

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