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Woman Comes Out Of Manic Episode To Discover She’s Been Elected U.S. Representative

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL—Returning to her normal baseline after a prolonged period in a frenzied, psychotic state, a local woman confirmed Tuesday that she had come out of her manic episode to discover she was now a member of the U.S. House of Representatives. “I was suffering from extensive hallucinations and delusions for several weeks, so I’m not sure what kinds of things I said, but apparently it connected with voters in my Florida district and they elected me to Congress,” said Rep. Patricia Smith (R-FL), who reportedly does not recall filing to run for office and can be seen in videos that show a woman who is clearly out of touch with reality making incomprehensible declarations and absurd claims about the state of the nation. “I remember being in the middle of a mental health crisis and rambling on and on to big crowds of people, and now all of a sudden here I am at the Capitol in D.C. with an American flag pin on my lapel. I do know I said something about foreign oil being a juice concocted by Jesus Christ that would make U.S. troops grow tall enough to marry the Statue of Liberty. That got a standing ovation.” At press time, sources confirmed Smith was in the midst of a depressive episode that made her feel lethargic, unmotivated, and every bit as productive as every other member of Congress.

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