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Grandmother Suffering From Alzheimer’s Still Able To Remember All Grandchildren’s Flaws

LINCOLN, NE—Finding promise in her ability to recognize her eldest grandchild as the one who failed to make the soccer team in eighth grade, family sources confirmed Monday that 87-year-old grandmother Serena Jackson was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease but still able to remember all of her grandchildren’s flaws. “A lot of the time she doesn’t know what year it is or where she’s at, but she never forgets that my sister has been divorced twice,” said grandson Marc Ashbury, who explained that Jackson’s capacity to identify her relatives by recalling her least favorite qualities about them showed that some of her faculties were still in tact despite her severe cognitive decline. “When she screams at my sister for sleeping around like a ‘hussy,’ I know she still remembers who Jessica is. It makes me tear up a bit when she looks at me and smiles before calling me a ‘fat, ugly, loser who was going to end up in prison,’ just like she used to do when I was a kid.” At press time, the family told reporters that Jackson had taken a sudden turn for the worse now that she was incorrectly telling her grandkids she was so proud of them.

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