Hollywood Studios Locked In Massive Bidding War For Screenplay Entitled ‘Existing IP TBD’

LOS ANGELES—With current offers for the work-in-progress rising as high as $250,000, multiple show-business insiders confirmed Thursday that every major Hollywood studio had become locked in a massive, frenzied bidding war for a screenplay entitled Existing IP TBD. “In terms of the sheer number of possibilities it leaves open, this script has more potential than anything I’ve read in my entire career,” said William Morris Endeavor agent Karen Arbuckle, who represents the virtually blank, 138-page screenplay reported to contain dummy text for scene headings and occasional placeholder dialogue by “[insert character here].” “I’ve been on calls with every studio head in town, and all of them are desperate to buy this property and build it into the next mega-franchise. All I can say is whoever comes out on top is going to have themselves a branded tentpole with the potential for four-quadrant success and plenty of subsidiary revenue streams through merchandising tie-ins.” At press time, William Morris Endeavor announced that after reading a single-page treatment consisting of the letters “TK,” Dwayne Johnson had become attached to the project.