Kanye West Releases New Album As Hot Fudge Sundae To First Thousand People In Mercedes Benz Stadium

ATLANTA—Saying the format encapsulated everything he hoped to express in the forthcoming project, Kanye West revealed Thursday that he would opt to release his new album as a hot fudge sundae to the first thousand people waiting outside Mercedes Benz Stadium. “When you think of Donda from now on, think of a plastic container of ice cream drizzled with hot fudge that’s handed out to the first thousand lucky fans who enter this iconic stadium,” said the award-winning recording artist, adding that the idea to scrap years of work on the album’s recorded portion and instead release it as an ice cream-based door prize had occurred to him during a particularly grueling late-night mixing session. “Scoop of vanilla. Scoop of chocolate. Some whipped cream. Hey, little bit of nuts. Hot fudge. Oh, and a maraschino cherry. That’s what Donda is all about, baby.” At press time, West’s choice to again push back the project’s rollout had raised speculation that he would actually release it as a commemorative football helmet filled with loaded nachos.