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Mysterious Black Janitor Annoyed To Be Wasting His Folk Wisdom On White Man Asking Crypto Advice

SEATTLE—Expressing frustration that his ageless insights were being utterly squandered by the overeager mid-level executive, a mysterious and potentially supernatural Black janitor was reportedly annoyed Thursday to be wasting his folk wisdom on a white man asking for crypto advice. “I cannot believe that every time I shuffle in here, lean up against my broom, ask ‘What troubles your mind, young man?’ and stare at him with a glint in my eye that suggests an ethereal, otherworldly quality, he just goes, ‘Do you think Ethereum is ever going to go back up to where it was?’” said office custodian Mr. Remus, who whistled as he cleaned the halls, pausing to explain that crypto concerns were a waste of his knowledge, and that he certainly knew a thing or two since he had been around for some time now—couldn’t say exactly how long, but quite some time indeed. “He must have some kind of struggle he’s going through that involves life, love, friendship, or something like that. Those things I can help with, but when he asks about blockchain assets, I just have to shrug and tell him to go to He keeps asking about the best NFT investments, and I have to come up with some generic riddle like, ‘Well, some things you give, and some things you take, but not everything you take is worth what you gotta give.’ For God’s sake, I’d even be willing to help him cope with his past demons through golf, if that’s what he wanted, but all this guy does is talk about his Coinbase portfolio.” At press time, the janitor simply told the man he sure had a whole lot to learn and then shook his head before walking around the corner and inexplicably disappearing.

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