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Panicked Danny DeVito Runs Out Of Anti-Growth Serum That Keeps Him Under 5 Feet

BROOKLYN, NY—Scouring every cabinet and drawer in a frantic search for the remedy, a panicked Danny DeVito ran out of the anti-growth serum that keeps him under five feet, sources confirmed Friday. “Shit, shit, shit, where is it?!” said the alarmed actor as his body began to rapidly expand, sprouting six-pack abs, shooting his arms and legs towards the walls, and elongating his neck until his head collided with the ceiling. “Where the hell did I put that stuff? Rhea! Rhea! You gotta help me out, I mean, my entire career depends on this!” At press time, a gigantic DeVito was rushing to cover himself with a brownstone after bursting through his clothes.

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