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Progressive Man Careful Not To Assume Someone A Genie Just Because They Floated Out Of Golden Lamp

SAN FRANCISCO—Citing the importance of not making judgments on the basis of a stereotype, local progressive man Jesse Hammond told reporters Friday he was careful never to assume someone was a genie just because they had floated out of a golden lamp. “When you rub an ancient oil lamp and someone emerges from its spout in a puff of smoke, it’s important not to make assumptions about their background,” said Hammond, adding that he always avoids rushing to conclusions about an ethereal creature who lives inside a strange artifact from a forgotten land and materializes before him, claiming to possess great magic. “I make a point of waiting until they tell me they can grant me three wishes, and even then I’ll say something like, ‘Oh, interesting, and what type of being are you, that you have such a remarkable power?’ Because you never know, they could be a fairy, a leprechaun, or even a fish offering wishes in exchange for its freedom, and if I assume they’re a genie, that could be a very frustrating microaggression.” The progressive man went on to express concern about whether it was okay for him to be using “the G-word” at all.

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