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Teenage Actress Going Through Awkward Phase Between Cute And Sexualized

LOS ANGELES—Calling it “a tough period to navigate,” sources confirmed Friday that popular teenage actress Makayla Caracci was going through that awkward stage between cute kid and hyper-sexualized young adult. “She just turned 14, so she’s at a difficult age when her audience has dwindled to a few of her fellow children and a handful of total creeps,” said former child actor Veronica Zarnoski, who chuckled as she recalled going through her own Hollywood growing pains, which she described as a clumsy wavering between the two poles of “sweet and innocent” and “fresh, eroticized fodder for the male gaze.” “How is she even supposed to be cast? She’s too old to play a precocious child who delights sitcom viewers with adorable, wise-beyond-her-years one-liners, and too young to play a slutty cheerleader or smoldering action-movie sidekick. But every actress goes through it. It’s just puberty—what can you do?” At press time, sources added that the eighth-grader should take comfort in the knowledge that she’s only a couple years away from becoming a lucrative object of sexual desire suitable for mass consumption.

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