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U.S. Democracy Under Siege After Tech Lobbyist Invites Some Senators To Dinner

WASHINGTON—In what both ordinary citizens and experts agreed was a threat to the nation’s political system, American democracy reportedly came under siege Thursday after a tech lobbyist invited some senators to dinner. “Rarely do we see such a brazen attack on our democratic values, and yet we could only watch in shock and horror as a paid representative for several biotech firms entered Charlie Palmer Steak with three U.S. senators for a sumptuous five-course meal,” said political scientist Monica Turley, adding that the vicious assault on representative self-government was compounded by the fact that U.S. intelligence officials had done nothing to address it, despite records showing that the dinner reservation had been in place for months. “Only in a country where democracy is in real danger could we see the lobbyist for a private interest discussing wine pairings with sitting members of Congress. What’s even more frightening is how shameless this attempt on our democracy was: Any passerby could have seen these individuals openly plotting how they would split up the seared foie gras and heirloom tomato salad. Ultimately, we may look back at the dinner of Jan. 6, 2022, as the beginning of the complete breakdown of the contract between the government and its people.” Political experts were at a loss for how to address this blatant threat to democracy, adding that virtually no one in any U.S. government institution seemed capable of doing anything to prevent the group from ordering dessert.

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