Zack Snyder Remains Optimistic New ‘Justice League’ Cut Will Be Complete By Time First Viewers Finally Reach Act 3

BURBANK, CA—Calling the project “nearly finished,” director Zack Snyder told reporters Thursday he was optimistic his new Justice League cut would be complete by the time first viewers finally reached act three. “I know millions of excited fans have already begun streaming the film, and I want them to rest assured knowing we’re working around the clock to make sure they don’t finish it before we do,” said Snyder, who promised the franchise’s dedicated fan base that they would love the final product, whatever it turned out to be. “I’ve got Ben Affleck in the recording studio with me now doing a little bit of ADR, but after that we should be good to go. Well, actually, after that there are still several things I’d like to revisit, but I guarantee we’ll get done in time, as long as you pause to take a few bathroom breaks. It wouldn’t hurt to take a 15-minute breather to make some popcorn and get some drinks either.” At press time, Snyder was panicking after realizing he had completely fucked up the aspect ratio.