Tuesday, April 16, 2024
HomeSportsAstros Hope Victory Will Inspire Kids To Break Rules Without Punishment

Astros Hope Victory Will Inspire Kids To Break Rules Without Punishment

HOUSTON—Calling it their chief motivation for trying to beat the Atlanta Braves in the MLB World Series, members of the Houston Astros told reporters Tuesday that they hoped a victory would inspire kids to break the rules without punishment. “If we can go out and win this series, it will show children all over America and all over the world that you can just blatantly break the rules of your game and face no consequences whatsoever,” said Astros third baseman Alex Bregman, echoing the sentiments of his teammates that they wanted to set an example that you can just cheat your way to a World Series win and then return to in another championship just a couple years later because neither the franchise nor players involved faced any repercussions. “Hopefully our victory would give kids out there the confidence that they can cheat and not suffer any retribution for it, and sends a message that you can besmirch the integrity of the game and be confident you’ll come out stronger than ever before. Even on the biggest stage, you can just defy the pretty basic guidelines for your sport because you feel like it, and then just sail through the investigation and disciplinary process with your head held high. From the bottom of our hearts, we hope that any boy or girl out there looking to cheat and get off scot-free will be inspired by our victory.” Members of the Atlanta Braves responded by declaring that, should they win the series, they hoped their victory would inspire all those kids out there that they could almost certainly cheat in ways similar to the Astros and just never have it get discovered.

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