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Political Analysts Say GOP Could Take House If A Few Key Assassinations Break Their Way

WASHINGTON—Noting the razor-thin leads that could be overcome with a minimal amount of bloodshed, pundits confirmed Tuesday that all the GOP needed to take the House of Representatives in 2022 was for a few key assassinations to break their way. “We’re seeing a number of races across the country with vulnerable Democratic incumbents who could be taken down with nothing more than a standard rifle,” said Meet The Press host Chuck Todd, confirming that Republicans could feel optimistic about delivering the House to Kevin McCarthy if they could just eke out a few gun-toting psychopaths in purple districts. “There’s a lot of anger at President Biden’s agenda right now, and if Republicans are canny, they can exploit that by funding local members on the ground who can translate cash into murdering their political opponents.” Todd cautioned that if Democrats weren’t careful, being sprayed by a volley of bullets could lead to significant disarray within the party.

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