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Reluctant Democrats Holding Off On Revealing Biden Died Of Heart Attack 6 Days Ago

WASHINGTON—Expressing concerns that the country’s emotional state might be incapable of handling the news right now, reluctant Democrats in Washington confirmed Tuesday that they are holding off on revealing that President-Elect Joe Biden died from a heart attack six days ago. “It’s obviously very sad, but it just felt like it would be super awkward to throw this out there while everyone is already so on edge,” said Senate Democratic leader Chuck Schumer, who admitted that while the death of the recently elected Biden creates serious problems around keeping the country functioning and tackling the Covid-19 crisis, he did not want to kick the American people while they were already down. “I know we should have announced it immediately, but we hesitated, and pretty soon the Capitol was being stormed, and things have been super crazy ever since. Hopefully, we can make it to the inauguration before people start asking questions. We just have a lot on our plate right now, and honestly, this is the last thing we want to deal with.” At press time, Schumer was ruminating on whether he should at least tell Biden’s family.

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