Tuesday, April 16, 2024
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‘Take Your Place By My Side And We Can Rule New York Forever,’ Says Covid To Disgraced, Vengeful Andrew Cuomo

NEW YORK—Tempting him with the promise that they could rule New York forever, the novel coronavirus reportedly encouraged a disgraced, vengeful Andrew Cuomo to take his place by his side Wednesday. “With our powers combined, there’s no telling what we could achieve,” said the infectious disease to the embittered former New York governor, encouraging Cuomo to feel the anger surging within him and surrender to the darkness. “You know, we’re not so different, you and I, and if we were to join forces, this entire state could be ours for the taking. I can help you unlock your true potential. Yes, yes, come with me, and we will crush them all.” At press time, the coronavirus dyed Cuomo’s hair black and rechristened him “The Governor of Darkness.”

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