WASHINGTON—Calling it a blatantly corrupt abuse of the recruitment system, critics slammed Alabama’s senator-elect Tommy Tuberville Wednesday for using free cars and Auburn cheerleaders to lure a five-star intern onto his staff. “Tuberville clearly spoiled this guy with steakhouse dinners and signed footballs to snatch him away from Ted Cruz,” said whistleblower Josh Winston, who claims Tuberville took the highly touted Yale senior on a “business” trip to a Cancun resort and spent thousands of dollars on escorts to inappropriately sway him towards joining his team on Capitol Hill. “These kids are supposed to do this for college credit. We’re talking about a once-in-a-generation intern who comes from an elite prep school. Any senator would be happy to add him to their roster, and it’s unfortunate that someone like Tommy can just buy their way through the process.” At press time, Tuberville announced plans to suspend the intern for two sessions of Congress for accepting illicit funds.