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Swing Voter Really Relates To Buttigieg’s Complete Lack Of Conviction

DES MOINES, IA—Praising the former South Bend, IN mayor as a “true champion” of nothing in particular, local swing voter Chris Fernsby told reporters Tuesday he felt a deep connection with presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg’s complete lack of conviction. “As a generally noncommittal person without any firm ideas about how our government should be run, I can see a lot of myself in this up-and-coming young leader with no discernible political identity,” said Fernsby, who added that Buttigieg’s vague but carefully focus-grouped positions on Medicare for All and police reform perfectly captured his own indecisive and shifting mindset when it came to issues at stake in the 2020 election. “Do I have strong views on affordable housing or how much public college tuition should cost? No. But you know what? Neither does Pete Buttigieg. When I listen to his uplifting, substance-free rhetoric, the only thing I can tell for sure is that he really, really wants to be president. And that’s good enough for me!” Fernsby went on to add that while he intended to support Buttigieg for the Democratic nomination, he still planned to vote for President Trump in the general election.

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