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Biden Presses Cybernetic Biden Replica On Growing Threat Of Automation

WASHINGTON—Expressing concern that a lack of restraints on the burgeoning technological field may post significant consequences down the road, President Joe Biden reportedly pressed a cybernetic replica of himself Thursday on the growing threat of automation. “President Biden had a delicate but important conversation with his automated doppelgänger concerning unregulated developments in artificial intelligence posing a potential threat to American security down the line, and the doppelgänger was very receptive,” said White House press secretary Jen Psaki, adding that the replica that shared every one of the president’s memories and points of judgment sat mirroring Joe Biden for a productive 90-minute meeting. “The president was pleased by his cybernetic copy’s responses, as it seemed to anticipate every one of his questions, as well as his gestures, actions, and thoughts, which goes a long way toward assuaging the administration’s concerns. The automaton assured the president that any concerns about artificial intelligence becoming uncontrollable by humans are likely years away, and that it had already assumed oversight of the U.S. intelligence apparatus dedicated to investigating cyber threats to guide its research priorities. President Biden was also happy to discuss classified aspects of U.S. foreign policy that the automaton said would greatly enhance its own independent machine-learning capacities, and we look forward to working with the indistinguishably realistic President Biden cybernetic copy on future projects.” At press time, the cybernetic Biden had torn off Biden’s head and declared itself president for life.

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